Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
