some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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