ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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