Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
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Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
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I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize