So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
