sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
