I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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