u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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