i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
