Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
