yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
false alarm, still single
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