ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
