a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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