Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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