what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
