If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
