Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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