No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
