No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
please come you make the beer taste better
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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