Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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