He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
