What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
