Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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