And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
