I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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