youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
