only if we run a train.
done.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
