he wants to bone in the snuggie
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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