So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
