I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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