Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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