whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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