I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
