His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
