Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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