I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
