hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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