What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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