everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize