Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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