whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
