remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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