I have demons in me.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize