I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
