If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
