I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
What a dumb baby whore.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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