Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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