We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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