i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
