FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
