You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
