I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
