party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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