i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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