Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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