is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
