are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
