I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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