Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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