Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
