Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
