it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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