If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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