Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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