No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
