Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize