i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
